With Halloween and trick or treating over, it's officially the holiday season and if you're getting married next year (congratulations by the way), you should be planning your wedding now. Today, I have put together some tips to help you with the all important task of choosing the bridesmaids for your wedding.
Please read on and enjoy!!! Don't forget to check out fabnaija.com for a checklist on preparing for Nigerian weddings.
In most cases, I truly believe that being a bridesmaid is one of the biggest honors a bride can bestow on her friends. It says: I value your friendship. It says: on the most important day of my life, I want you by my side. It invites you to celebrate with her……rejoice with her……join her in ensuring that the day is all about her………that it fulfils her childhood fantasy………the fantasy most girls have of a perfect wedding day.
For a bridesmaid, a friend's wedding can be a very humbling experience. It's indescribable, the sheer joy of watching a couple become one…….especially after witnessing the journey that brought them thus far. The fact that as a bridesmaid, you get to see this…..the consecration of this union, standing next to her at the altar is………………….there are no appropriate words to describe it.
Despite the obvious love and close friendship between the bride and her bridesmaids, the journey to the altar is not always the smoothest one. The obvious point of contention between the bride and her bridesmaids is the dress. There's a general consensus that bridesmaid outfits are rather hideous, despite the genuine intentions of the bride. This is a rather bitter pill for bridesmaids…..especially the younger ones…….to swallow.
Sometimes the bride cannot be blamed. Indeed, I don't envy the task of a bride. It is almost impossible to satisfy everyone on your bridal train, especially when each one has a different taste in clothes, has different body types, etc. In addition, the material that most bridesmaids outfits come in, are quite ugly….and hella shiny.The end result is a rather expensive, UGLY outfit that no sane person would wear again, unless with the intention of being ridiculed…………..or perhaps, going to a high school prom.
And then, there are brides who have NO GOOD INTENTIONS WHATSOEVER, or have very questionable tastes………..i.e, their real intentions are to ensure that their bridesmaids look "funny." Recently I was at a wedding where the bridesmaids dresses looked like throw-up (no kidding, the outfits were really hideous) and their hair………..someone accurately described it as a "bird nest." In a situation like this, conflict between the bridal train and the bride is inevitable. So, I have tips to help avoid conflict:
For The Bride: Tips to Having a Happy Bridesmaid.
1.No………is No. It's not Personal
Do not read too much into her refusal to be your bridesmaid.
2.Avoid Control Freaks and those who have problems taking orders. A woman who loves control is quite unlikely to relinquish control to you, especially about her appearance. This woman will undoubtedly cause conflict. Let it go, for the sake of your friendship.
3.An itemized list is your best friend. Letting your bridesmaids know ahead of time, precisely what your expectations are (the clothes….preferably the picture of the clothes as well, the shoes, the jewelry, the hairstyle, etc) will eliminate any future arguments. The bridesmaids know ahead of time how much it will cost (both financially and emotionally), and hence have the option of declining the position. At the end of the day, you will be much happier.
4.Show some appreciation. Let's be real, being a bridesmaid costs a lot of money. And brides, despite your good intentions, the outfits are usually UGLY and TOO LOUD…………..and yes, they will never see the light of day again.
For the Bridesmaid: TIP to Keeping Your Friendship
Shut up and play nice. It's her day, her pictures. Let it go.
Leave a comment about your own bride or bridesmaid experience!!!
Keep reading and remember to check out fabnaija.com for information on Nigerian weddings. We make your search for a fab venue extremely easy. We tell you which venues allow you to bring your own caterer and the capacity of each venue is also listed.
If you've worked with a caterer, decorator, wedding planner or other vendor in the past, please take the time to visit fabnaija.com and leave a comment about the vendor.